This morning I had to get my daughter to XCountry Practice before 6am, so we left @ 530 to give ourselves time and to pick up another friend in the neighborhood. What occurred to me is...what happened to most of the people whose lives were claimed as a result of the floods could've happened to any body. It just hit me this morning. Imagine dropping some friends off home from a trip you have just returned from. Now you are on your way home, the road you usually take you notice some water, but its dark outside and more than that you've been driving in torrential rains for a while, so depth and width is unknown. You continue down the road, crossing the water thinking nothing of it, except this time your vehicle is swept away. This is what happened to Delena and a few others either on their way home, to work or just regular travels.
I am soooo thankful that we were not on the roads at that time because I know it could've been us. I said a prayer for the families who have lost loved ones and also for those who have lost their homes, cars, and other things to this water. I also continue to pray for our children. There are so many things vying for their attention and after listening to Joyce Meyers, I learned of the rise for sex slaves and these predators are looking for children. DON'T FORGET TO PRAY! TAKE TIME OUT TO PRAY! OUR FATHER WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY! Thanks for reading.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
9-23-09: BE - HAVE - DO
I pondered what to write... This was a day of diligence. I went from one thing to the next. I did my lesson on rebellion. I read my Bible. I went into the office. Nothing was standing out for me to record for this day, UNTIL, I read the section in my book by Kim Kiyosaki, "Rich Woman", TO Do vs TO Have, Subsection, BE - HAVE - DO! First of all it was in a section that if you were looking for it you wouldn't have found it. To read the section in its entirety, see page 240 to 244.
""BE is your beingness; who you are. DO is the doingness; what you do. HAVE is your havingness; what you have. So who you are and what you do determines what you have. For example, if you want to have a baby then you have to be a mother-to-be and what you have to do is get pregnant, get doctor check-ups, take care of your health, prepare for the baby, and finally give birth. The key is that your focus from the start is not on all the things you have to do, your focus is on what you want to have - 'I want to have a baby'" ... All you have to focus on is what you want to have because what you want to have is a much stronger motivator than what you have to do... Concentrate on what you have want to have and what you have to do will happen. Up to this point who you are and what you do have gotten you what you have today. If you want to change what you have...then you have to change who you are and what you do. If you don't then you will remain with what you have..."
After reading this, though I went to bed, I couldn't go to sleep. I ended up getting up and finishing the book. I have been "finishing the book" now for about a month, but something kept getting in the way. This section impacted me so much! It reminded me that while I was driving today that I want to play the CASHFLOW GAME in real life with real money and people and situations. I also realize that I want to be the agent the sells million dollar properties. I have shyed away from this and have told myself that what it takes "I can't afford", but my husband told me tonight, "Yes, you can." I am so thankful. "You can afford it." He began to share with me what I can do and how I can work it and that my way of doing it is unique and how I can use my network of Realtors outside of the state to get my properties sold in ATL. I am so thankful with tear-filled eyes as I write this because when you stop rebelling God has a way of speaking to you that you don't otherwise "hear & receive" from any other state of mind. Y'all there was a time I stopped dreaming and I didn't know what I wanted to be, do or have. To see, God giving it back to me in small portions but huge on the mind, OH I am so blessed. Thanks for reading.
P.s. There were 2 other sections that blessed my socks off... "Trust Yourself" and "Full Throttle". Who knows, they may be topics later.
""BE is your beingness; who you are. DO is the doingness; what you do. HAVE is your havingness; what you have. So who you are and what you do determines what you have. For example, if you want to have a baby then you have to be a mother-to-be and what you have to do is get pregnant, get doctor check-ups, take care of your health, prepare for the baby, and finally give birth. The key is that your focus from the start is not on all the things you have to do, your focus is on what you want to have - 'I want to have a baby'" ... All you have to focus on is what you want to have because what you want to have is a much stronger motivator than what you have to do... Concentrate on what you have want to have and what you have to do will happen. Up to this point who you are and what you do have gotten you what you have today. If you want to change what you have...then you have to change who you are and what you do. If you don't then you will remain with what you have..."
After reading this, though I went to bed, I couldn't go to sleep. I ended up getting up and finishing the book. I have been "finishing the book" now for about a month, but something kept getting in the way. This section impacted me so much! It reminded me that while I was driving today that I want to play the CASHFLOW GAME in real life with real money and people and situations. I also realize that I want to be the agent the sells million dollar properties. I have shyed away from this and have told myself that what it takes "I can't afford", but my husband told me tonight, "Yes, you can." I am so thankful. "You can afford it." He began to share with me what I can do and how I can work it and that my way of doing it is unique and how I can use my network of Realtors outside of the state to get my properties sold in ATL. I am so thankful with tear-filled eyes as I write this because when you stop rebelling God has a way of speaking to you that you don't otherwise "hear & receive" from any other state of mind. Y'all there was a time I stopped dreaming and I didn't know what I wanted to be, do or have. To see, God giving it back to me in small portions but huge on the mind, OH I am so blessed. Thanks for reading.
P.s. There were 2 other sections that blessed my socks off... "Trust Yourself" and "Full Throttle". Who knows, they may be topics later.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
9-22-09: I'll Be There
Today's lesson was on Rebellion. I am so glad I am hearing God and obeying Him. Today I had the opportunity to pray for a friend as the Holy Spirit gave me utterance. I am always amazed and thankful when God uses me because I know I am a work in progress. So, when He uses me...yeah! It makes me all something inside.
In completing today's lesson, I was reminded of the areas where I am rebellious and to repent. I also read the types of authority that GOD put into place. In reading about deacons, there was a line in there that was so clear to me today; it states, "before they are asked to be deacons they should be given other jobs in the church as a test of their character and ability, and if they do well then they may be chosen as deacons." Many times we see ourselves as "qualified" to do the thing that we feel God is calling us to do, but we can't qualify ourselves. It is only after the time of testing. It is God who qualifies me. I have to check my attitude when I am asked to do something I don't want to do or which is not "convenient" for me to do. Am I still loving then or rebelling still? I'm so glad that God doesn't write me off when I end up on the side of error. He doesn't condemn me because it is His desire that I "get it" and He knows what He put in me. With that, he let me know that, "LaShone, I'm here for you...so you can be there when I have need of you. Fear not. I have redeemed you! I have called you by name. Child, you are mine. When you water I will be there and through the flames. You'll not, be drowned! You'll not be burned! For I am with you." Thanks for reading.
P.s. I got another day to spend with my children, however today I had to enforce disciplines so that they won't get too relaxed during times that they would usually be at school. Nonetheless, it was a good day!
In completing today's lesson, I was reminded of the areas where I am rebellious and to repent. I also read the types of authority that GOD put into place. In reading about deacons, there was a line in there that was so clear to me today; it states, "before they are asked to be deacons they should be given other jobs in the church as a test of their character and ability, and if they do well then they may be chosen as deacons." Many times we see ourselves as "qualified" to do the thing that we feel God is calling us to do, but we can't qualify ourselves. It is only after the time of testing. It is God who qualifies me. I have to check my attitude when I am asked to do something I don't want to do or which is not "convenient" for me to do. Am I still loving then or rebelling still? I'm so glad that God doesn't write me off when I end up on the side of error. He doesn't condemn me because it is His desire that I "get it" and He knows what He put in me. With that, he let me know that, "LaShone, I'm here for you...so you can be there when I have need of you. Fear not. I have redeemed you! I have called you by name. Child, you are mine. When you water I will be there and through the flames. You'll not, be drowned! You'll not be burned! For I am with you." Thanks for reading.
P.s. I got another day to spend with my children, however today I had to enforce disciplines so that they won't get too relaxed during times that they would usually be at school. Nonetheless, it was a good day!
9-21-09: Life is Like a Box of Chocolates
Oh! My lesson yesterday on faith asked me about the challenges I would face for the next 3 days and to pray about them. I included the things of this day that I "thought" would be challenges. To my surprise, God made those challenges into relaxed opportunities that included me getting to spend the day with my family due to the weather conditions in GA in September (this wasn't even in the plan)! Gwinnett County Schools were closed due to these inclement weather conditions. I am so thankful! We didn't do anything spectacular; just being in each other's company and for that I am appreciative. Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know whatcha gonna get! Thanks for reading.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
9-20-09: Consistency in DOING
Today I see the scars that the ants left behind... Isn't that many times how life is? I see the scars left behind and the reminder of the suffering creates a simulation of the event or circumstance that caused the scars and before I know it I am acting out in my present like it was the reality of the past. As for yesterday, there was a positive outcome on the same day. Can you imagine the affects this could have when the situation was what I call negative or adverse. At the top of my lungs and vocals, I say, "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! I do not give you access to my present." Each moment is for the moment we are living and breathing in and while memories are relevant; it is necessary that I not revel in them. God you are awesome!
I heard a statement today that said, "we are not consistent in the "doing". It instantly made me think of this blog - tool to instill disciplines in me. It's amazing the cycle I go through once I commit to doing something about what I had previously only talked about. EXCITEMENT leads to ENERGY SURGES TO DO leads to START OFF STRONG leads to AFTER ABOUT 1.5 to 2 WEEKS I FADE & BEFORE LONG QUIT, UNLESS ACCOUNTABILITY IS BUILT INTO THE ZEAL OF THE "DOING" leads to COMPLETION/FULFILLMENT/MANIFESTATION. I am so thankful for this blog. I have slacked at times to getting my post in before 12mid. However, I will not make excuses for myself. Regardless of the entries doing what they want to do from my phone, it is my responsibility. As a result of this, my count down to 9/3/10 I will be WHO I BE!
"I Didn't Know My Own Strength" by Whitney Houston is my inspiration today. I thank you Father! I crashed down, I tumbled, but I didn't crumble. I got through all the pain. My faith kept me alive. I was not built to break. I didn't know my own strength. TO HEAR THE SONG CUT & PASTE THE LINK BELOW INTO YOUR BROWSER: http://myplay.com/audio_player/myplay/271/479541/485280?allowBrowsing=1
Thanks for reading.
I heard a statement today that said, "we are not consistent in the "doing". It instantly made me think of this blog - tool to instill disciplines in me. It's amazing the cycle I go through once I commit to doing something about what I had previously only talked about. EXCITEMENT leads to ENERGY SURGES TO DO leads to START OFF STRONG leads to AFTER ABOUT 1.5 to 2 WEEKS I FADE & BEFORE LONG QUIT, UNLESS ACCOUNTABILITY IS BUILT INTO THE ZEAL OF THE "DOING" leads to COMPLETION/FULFILLMENT/MANIFESTATION. I am so thankful for this blog. I have slacked at times to getting my post in before 12mid. However, I will not make excuses for myself. Regardless of the entries doing what they want to do from my phone, it is my responsibility. As a result of this, my count down to 9/3/10 I will be WHO I BE!
"I Didn't Know My Own Strength" by Whitney Houston is my inspiration today. I thank you Father! I crashed down, I tumbled, but I didn't crumble. I got through all the pain. My faith kept me alive. I was not built to break. I didn't know my own strength. TO HEAR THE SONG CUT & PASTE THE LINK BELOW INTO YOUR BROWSER: http://myplay.com/audio_player/myplay/271/479541/485280?allowBrowsing=1
Thanks for reading.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
9-19-09: Suffering to be Blessed
Today, I have had a day...the part that is relevant for this blog is this... While at my daughter's cross country meet I got bit by fire ants! There were so many bites. It was burning and itching from my feet going up my legs. I was beating myself to get them off of me. I started coming out of my shoes, then my socks. I was ready to come out of my jeans too, but didn't. I didn't want to miss any part of my daughter's race! I had my camera and I really wanted the best pictures that I could get so I didn't want to go to the Medical Station to get the aide that I needed. This man encouraged me to go. He said. "If only you can get over there, they will help you." I decided in that moment to go to the Medical Station and risk missing the photos I wanted of my daughter. The aid I got was relieving! Then, what do you know? The race brought them right pass me! I got the BEST shots I believe I wouldn't have gotten from anywhere else! One of them. you can see the torrential rain and her running through it (a POWERFUL SHOT)...that I KNOW I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET FROM ANY OTHER PLACE, but in the seat of the Medical Station! MY REVELATION: God allowed me to be bitten by ants so that He could give me the desire of my heart! Suffering does not feel good. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful, LATER ON however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace who have been trained by it."
I am thankful for being bitten by ants (the suffering I endured). Thanks for reading.
I am thankful for being bitten by ants (the suffering I endured). Thanks for reading.
9-18-09: Putting God on the Shelf
God showed me that I still put Him on the shelf and that is why I am screaming to break free, when certain people are around due to past rejection and abandonment because of my walk. As a result of the relationship being reconciled many years ago in a way that only God could do, I would never have imagined that I would've reverted to this behavior again. When that person wasn't around I would have a freedom in God that I didn't have with their being present. Yesterday, that freedom returned; I refuse to put God on the shelf in fear of a person(s) abandoning me. Call me a fanatic, a freak or whatever, because God knows my heart; no one else is qualified to judge. I began to dance for God. There is a dance in my heart that is only for God. Thank you for reading.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
9-16-09: Residue
It is quite amazing how the affects (residue) of one conversation with a loved one has the power to take me off course or help me keep running, enduring, persevering. Unfortunately, mine was the first. It usually is determined by the value I've placed on the relationship. It is in these moments that I have to fight to stay the course because I know I could act a fool and choose words & actions that could really cut deep and feel justified. What I learned about myself, is when I am offended, I have the capacity to HATE more than LOVE. I am determined to keep on pressing and give voice to my insights, revelations & so forth. Today my reading was Isa 41-42:2. God has a way of letting me know, He knows. Thanks for reading.
9-15-09: Spending Time
Last night Benjamin & I went skating and had a ball! At first I wasn't skating bcuz there weren't any parents in skates on the floor except 1 trying to help her son... It just didn't feel right. So, I got me some skates and we raced & more! All I can say is, "I'm glad I didn't let my thoughts of what others would think of me stop me from doing the good I knew to do." By the end of the night there were plenty more parents on the floor :-) We closed out doing the Cha Cha Slide & Cupid Shuffle.
Monday, September 14, 2009
9-14-09: Discipline
"Discipline is hard." was the thought I had. "No, it isn't...it is a decision." was the next thing I perceived. I pondered then it went out of my mind until now, I got an email from Tony Robbins and a video about this very thing. If I could pinpoint my triggers, my decision to be disciplined could be more consistent more easily; almost 2nd nature. What do you think about that? Put it in the context of what you are on again; off again with in your life, then post your comment. Thanks for reading & sharing.
9-14-09: Steward
Today, I had the pleasure of running around Stone Mountain with my husband. Today was more different than usual because I haven't ran in about 4 days then I hadn't ran Stone Mountain in over a week. Anyway, I pressed. In the midst of my run, the thought came to me about being a "steward over my body". I pondered it til the realization of what a "steward" is occurred to me then "my body", then who was saying this...Holy Spirit. Um. You know, God is so gentle, loving and kind. When He gives you something, you doesn't demand that you do "it" like He would do "it". That is why we have "freewill". So, this loving God is recommending that I be a good steward over my body. I asked Him to help me to be a good steward over my body because I know I can't do this one alone. I like to eat the good as well as the "bad"! The more I pondered it...I thought of a conversation I had with a friend today briefly and the comment that I made about wanting to eat pizza, chicken and the other things I like, just in moderation. We are such a work in progress. So, who know where this is going to take me...Only my Daddy (God).
In doing the workbook, "Lord, Change My Attitude", I am so happy about the changes that I don't realize until a conversation, situation, or circumstance occurs and my response freaks me out and I really mean what I am saying from the most AUTHENTIC parts of who I BE. This is beautiful. God is using the book to help me believe again on a level that I admitted last week to abandoning unconsciously. As a result, when I got the news that my daughter was accepted into the People-to-People Student Ambassador Program for Summer 2010, I felt this unexplainable leap within, excitement and reassurance that God knows me and He wants me to know Him in another capacity than the one I had allowed myself to wallow. You see, when a parent has to correct a child it is never their desire for that child to remain in that state of correction mode beyond the point of the correction. Rather, to learn and grow from it and then MOVE ON! I was the child that didn't depart from the correction mode to the point of becoming stale and stagnant in my faith because of how big I made a past failure. I'm so glad to be moving on. We are 7 weeks into the book and I am looking forward to greater works that He wants for us. Today, I am being made FREE by the truth I know!
Thanks for reading.
In doing the workbook, "Lord, Change My Attitude", I am so happy about the changes that I don't realize until a conversation, situation, or circumstance occurs and my response freaks me out and I really mean what I am saying from the most AUTHENTIC parts of who I BE. This is beautiful. God is using the book to help me believe again on a level that I admitted last week to abandoning unconsciously. As a result, when I got the news that my daughter was accepted into the People-to-People Student Ambassador Program for Summer 2010, I felt this unexplainable leap within, excitement and reassurance that God knows me and He wants me to know Him in another capacity than the one I had allowed myself to wallow. You see, when a parent has to correct a child it is never their desire for that child to remain in that state of correction mode beyond the point of the correction. Rather, to learn and grow from it and then MOVE ON! I was the child that didn't depart from the correction mode to the point of becoming stale and stagnant in my faith because of how big I made a past failure. I'm so glad to be moving on. We are 7 weeks into the book and I am looking forward to greater works that He wants for us. Today, I am being made FREE by the truth I know!
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
9-13-09: I Can Do Bad By Myself & F.I.S.H.
Tonight, I saw "I Can Do Bad By Myself". It was ssssssooooo good! I gained wisdom tghrough the movie. I have determined i don't want to "cope". I want to thrive in every area of my life!
God also showed up in me teaching Children's Church. I really didn't want to do it, but I felt like I would be letting God down & turning a deaf ear to what would make Him smile. He responded to the willing attitude with POWER. I wouldn't dare take credit for that...He saw my heart & heard my thoughts toward my husband volunteering me for something I didn't first approve. - Like saying, um huh now that you don't want to do it...I can show up. - Yeah, right! That permission stuff will get u n trouble... Anyway, why did He give me a glimpse of my husband & I teaching during this experience. The way I saw it, we both have a part to teach & a role (no a Call) to fulfill. We both have something God wants us to bring to the "table" w/all of who we are and to appreciate our differences rather than desire anything else. WOW! Thank you Father. Please forgive me for attempting to change your plans for my convenience.
BEAUTY: was watching my daughter practice b-ball with 4 other teams. Then to learn of my son's success in making 3 baskets/shots from unexpected distances and ALL of them! To see his smile because he earned $40 due to someone misunderstanding his capability (oh, and capacity). Wow! I bet God got into the mix to prove a point & uplift Benjamin's heart too. I also enjoyed my conversation with the GA Tech Women's B-ball Team. I'm looking forward to doing their hair. They are a great group...please go out & support them.
By the way, my reading today was Ps. 2. Did you know God laughs at those who think they are doing something or can do something as though their power is their own &/or greater than His? (see verse 4). Thanks for reading.
God also showed up in me teaching Children's Church. I really didn't want to do it, but I felt like I would be letting God down & turning a deaf ear to what would make Him smile. He responded to the willing attitude with POWER. I wouldn't dare take credit for that...He saw my heart & heard my thoughts toward my husband volunteering me for something I didn't first approve. - Like saying, um huh now that you don't want to do it...I can show up. - Yeah, right! That permission stuff will get u n trouble... Anyway, why did He give me a glimpse of my husband & I teaching during this experience. The way I saw it, we both have a part to teach & a role (no a Call) to fulfill. We both have something God wants us to bring to the "table" w/all of who we are and to appreciate our differences rather than desire anything else. WOW! Thank you Father. Please forgive me for attempting to change your plans for my convenience.
BEAUTY: was watching my daughter practice b-ball with 4 other teams. Then to learn of my son's success in making 3 baskets/shots from unexpected distances and ALL of them! To see his smile because he earned $40 due to someone misunderstanding his capability (oh, and capacity). Wow! I bet God got into the mix to prove a point & uplift Benjamin's heart too. I also enjoyed my conversation with the GA Tech Women's B-ball Team. I'm looking forward to doing their hair. They are a great group...please go out & support them.
By the way, my reading today was Ps. 2. Did you know God laughs at those who think they are doing something or can do something as though their power is their own &/or greater than His? (see verse 4). Thanks for reading.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
9-12-09: Built to Capacity
I am so glad to be able to sit down and just be. I have been built to capacity to properly handle and manage that things that occur in my life....THINK ABOUT IT...God's the one who promised He wouldn't put more on me than I can bear....so I have been built to capacity & so have you. My schedule was full today - BEAUTY: Observing my son's basketball game & seeing him improve as the game went on to making the last shot. They won the game. Also, accompanying my daughter for her interview to travel as an Ambassador next summer; being able to encourage her beforehand and to listen as she replayed the interview with such joy! They asked her a question: "What would she do with $250 that she couldn't save or give away?" She shared with my she thought for a moment and then said with much excited, "Oh I would buy shoes, shoes & more shoes!" The panel laughed and expressed they had been waiting on that response all day! She laughed with them. This makes my heart sing because she went in there and was 100% herself learning that she is enough and accepting the qualities that she brings to the table.
Overcoming doubt...I'm glad God allowed this opportunity to believe & trust Him to come along. In going through this, I realize that because I put my hopes up and they were let down (or I didn't get what I was expecting), it became a challenge for me to trust God in many other things since then. - Leaning to my own understanding. - I understand that I let doubt in my not making time on my own apart from a book to get to know God better; purposeful, daily study/bible reading time. There may be other ways, but I am a one thing at a time kinda woman. I didn't think this was an area of concern; I read, I pray. In servicing one of my Clients today, I was convicted and encouraged by his sharing his story of how he has studied for years! So, while I understand I may not do it like him...I am committed to daily reading apart from any book or otherwise that I may be doing. SO, today I began with Psalms 1. Hey, I don't have all day to obey! Oh, even the study notes blessed me...let me share :-):
Overcoming doubt...I'm glad God allowed this opportunity to believe & trust Him to come along. In going through this, I realize that because I put my hopes up and they were let down (or I didn't get what I was expecting), it became a challenge for me to trust God in many other things since then. - Leaning to my own understanding. - I understand that I let doubt in my not making time on my own apart from a book to get to know God better; purposeful, daily study/bible reading time. There may be other ways, but I am a one thing at a time kinda woman. I didn't think this was an area of concern; I read, I pray. In servicing one of my Clients today, I was convicted and encouraged by his sharing his story of how he has studied for years! So, while I understand I may not do it like him...I am committed to daily reading apart from any book or otherwise that I may be doing. SO, today I began with Psalms 1. Hey, I don't have all day to obey! Oh, even the study notes blessed me...let me share :-):
- Knowing God intimately drives away doubt, fear and loneliness.
- Those who diligently try to obey God are like healthy fruit-bearing trees with strong roots.
- There are only 2 paths of life to choose: God's way of obedience or the way of rebellion. (sounds like the Matrix with red & blue pill)
- When the scriptures promises "everything you do shall prosper", it does NOT mean immunity from failure or difficulties. Nor is it a guarantee of health, wealth & happiness. It means when God's wisdom is applied to our lives, the fruit it bears in us will be good and receive God's approval. Just as a tree soaks up water & bears luscious fruit, we are to soak up God's Word, producing actions & attitudes that honor God.
My goal is to obey immediately. I have wasted too much time pondering and procrastinating, waiting on the "right" time to get it in/on... everyday is a special occassion. No need in saving the best for last...the best is now.
OHHHH, guess what? I saw another rose! This time standing tall! It one again. This time on the opposite side of my front porch. Standing head and shoulders over the hedges...they were just cut evenly last week. It's head was small, color: medium pink! This time I tugged on it to see how strong the stem was. What do you know? It is strong!!!! I remember an old man telling me to cut the first rose and the others will be bigger. Well, I didn't cut it (i better go correct this so I can see some bigger ones...LOL)! I don't want a rose bush right there though. I am thankful with the lessons though...some people don't want me where I have been planted by God...but it doesn't change a thing. Watch me grow. 9/3/2010 its going to be a party!
OMG! God just blessed me with a young lady (15yo) to help me set my business up in FACEBOOK! I have been needing the "know-how" to do this for a couple of months!
Thanks for reading.
9-11-09: God Works...
Oh, it is always my goal to get my post in before the clock strikes 12mid! I missed it tonight on the clock, but definitely not in the spirit. I accepted correction today without trying to defend myself. I know that is a turn for me. I could feel it in my flesh...the rise...the pull to say something, but I submitted. I appreciate my husband for sharing the words he did tonight. I could ask God to help me train my daughter in ways that I wasn't and let me not let her "wing it" like I had to. She doesn't have to "wing it". It is my job to train her so that the confidence that she walks in is true & genuine.
In viewing the movie, "Evan Almighty" tonight - My God!! I saw so much today and I have seen the movie at least 2-3 times before. My observations: The conditions made Evan look like he was off and that he was crazy and that his God didn't know what he was talking about. He knew he had heard from God. To get to the point to say, "OK, I need you here." I understand that the conditions don't look like in the natural that I am in position for a major breakthrough, but GOD knows that this preparation is His anticipation to fulfill my expectations. Even when I run, I can't get far...she said, "well can you ask God to love us a little less?" LOL. God thank you for loving us the way you do. There is no other like You. Then, to look at the different tests of my obedience as "opportunities".
Today was my 4th day in the office - doing real estate. I expected to go in make my calls and leave. No...that's not how God would have it. I was blessed to sign-on with many asset management companies to be able to do BPOs to determine that market value of foreclosed properties. I expect this to turn into me listing foreclosed properties & working with many financial institution to get their properties sold. I also was blessed with the complete listing of ACTIVE & INACTIVE real estate agents in GA. This is important because it is my desire to help EXIT REALTY GROW in ATLANTA. I have scrubbed my lists and set-up these contacts for my recruiting campaigns. I am looking forward to growing my sponsors and providing mentoring & accountability to them to enhance & accelerate their success. Oh...I did do my calls and I set an appointment for MONDAY @ 6pm. I am excited about helping this family. This could mean 2 "short sale" listings and 1 loan modification to help the family keep the farm and get from under the financial burden of the other properties. If you know of anyone looking for a great property in Dacula, please share my contact info with them.
Lastly, in completing my lesson on doubt today...I experience God's power everytime I do my hair and anybody elses. After years of doing hair and now mainly specializing in locs, it always amazes me to see the creativity that comes forth. I am growing through this time of cleansing and expecting to come out as pure gold (ready to show forth the glory of God).
Thanks for reading.
In viewing the movie, "Evan Almighty" tonight - My God!! I saw so much today and I have seen the movie at least 2-3 times before. My observations: The conditions made Evan look like he was off and that he was crazy and that his God didn't know what he was talking about. He knew he had heard from God. To get to the point to say, "OK, I need you here." I understand that the conditions don't look like in the natural that I am in position for a major breakthrough, but GOD knows that this preparation is His anticipation to fulfill my expectations. Even when I run, I can't get far...she said, "well can you ask God to love us a little less?" LOL. God thank you for loving us the way you do. There is no other like You. Then, to look at the different tests of my obedience as "opportunities".
Today was my 4th day in the office - doing real estate. I expected to go in make my calls and leave. No...that's not how God would have it. I was blessed to sign-on with many asset management companies to be able to do BPOs to determine that market value of foreclosed properties. I expect this to turn into me listing foreclosed properties & working with many financial institution to get their properties sold. I also was blessed with the complete listing of ACTIVE & INACTIVE real estate agents in GA. This is important because it is my desire to help EXIT REALTY GROW in ATLANTA. I have scrubbed my lists and set-up these contacts for my recruiting campaigns. I am looking forward to growing my sponsors and providing mentoring & accountability to them to enhance & accelerate their success. Oh...I did do my calls and I set an appointment for MONDAY @ 6pm. I am excited about helping this family. This could mean 2 "short sale" listings and 1 loan modification to help the family keep the farm and get from under the financial burden of the other properties. If you know of anyone looking for a great property in Dacula, please share my contact info with them.
Lastly, in completing my lesson on doubt today...I experience God's power everytime I do my hair and anybody elses. After years of doing hair and now mainly specializing in locs, it always amazes me to see the creativity that comes forth. I am growing through this time of cleansing and expecting to come out as pure gold (ready to show forth the glory of God).
Thanks for reading.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
9-10-09: Doing What I Didn't "Want" to Do
Last night I began feeling sick...I thank God for meds, rest and especially a praying husband. Today, I am glad to report that I am feeling better. I wrestled with leaving the house today. I wanted to go into the office even though there were other things that needed to get done. Then, I wanted to go to the school to pick-up a form that I didn't complete...the thought came to call and the secretary...when I did she was so obliging to give it to my son to bring home. So, I accepted that I didn't need to leave.
It is so important that I stop running from the things that I don't like to do, but that needs to get done especially since I don't have anyone to delegate it to yet and to be honest even if I did, I'd probably still want to do it myself. Through doing the things that I don't want to do, but that I do, I gain discipline and a greater sense of satisfaction by pressing through to completion. I love the feeling of accomplishment and most of the time the greatest sense of accomplishment comes from doing what I didn't want to do to begin with. Thanks for reading.
It is so important that I stop running from the things that I don't like to do, but that needs to get done especially since I don't have anyone to delegate it to yet and to be honest even if I did, I'd probably still want to do it myself. Through doing the things that I don't want to do, but that I do, I gain discipline and a greater sense of satisfaction by pressing through to completion. I love the feeling of accomplishment and most of the time the greatest sense of accomplishment comes from doing what I didn't want to do to begin with. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
9-9-09: Set Ur Sights to See Beauty
Did u know there is something beautiful to see in each day? Just like this Journey Back has me seeing & realizing things I had not been. Its amazing what happens when u set ur expectation. Good Night. Thanks for reading.
9-9-09: Between My Ears
I must control what goes on between my 2 ears...
Today is my 3rd day in the office - working my real estate business - since my comeback. While prospecting (making phone calls in expectation of getting new business), I became very conscious of the volume of negative thoughts that frequent my head...the "wounded self" was trying to win, but I refuse to let them win. I choose to get back on my job and make my calls expecting to set an appointment (if nothing else, with a conquering, triumphant attitude)...stay tuned! Thanks for reading.
P.S. What do you know! I kept calling, then God has sent another team member in the office that prospects as well. WE are keeping each other positive.
Today is my 3rd day in the office - working my real estate business - since my comeback. While prospecting (making phone calls in expectation of getting new business), I became very conscious of the volume of negative thoughts that frequent my head...the "wounded self" was trying to win, but I refuse to let them win. I choose to get back on my job and make my calls expecting to set an appointment (if nothing else, with a conquering, triumphant attitude)...stay tuned! Thanks for reading.
P.S. What do you know! I kept calling, then God has sent another team member in the office that prospects as well. WE are keeping each other positive.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
9-8-09: Just Trust
There comes a time when I just have to trust because I have to trust. That's where I am in every area. I am seeing You (God) come through without hearing you say anything and I am so grateful. I rejoice in the small details that You continue to take care of for me and/or with me. Thanks for listening.
9-8-09: The Remnant
What a day...its amazing what it takes to stay committed to yourself. When someone else is involved it seems that my value of their opinion (i.e., approval, validation, etc.) outweighs my emotions or "feelings" to not do what I've said...that is, if my "feelings" every kick in that makes me want to renege. Anyway, I am getting out of my own way (the rat race) & on to the fast track---i must be ready to play Cashflow :-).
"Most people go through their whole life never living."
"There is NEVER nothing going on."
These lines have been in my head since spending Labor Day with my family chillin', climbing Stone Mountain & bowling. They are from the movie, Peaceful Warrior. I am learning to live and enjoy the qualities of life that I have taken for granted, like resting and taking my time rather than hurry-scurry to do something that's non-emergent. Oh yeah, I forgot to share the revelation I got after trying to jump through the hoops of a new client, who I'd never seen her hair or know anything about, but rather she sounding all urgent & stuff for me to do her hair, but not willing to make any adjustment with her time, rather require me to make them all...I DIDNT DO HER HAIR and for this reason I am glad..."I chose to not let someone else urgent become my emergent." My illness of letting go of my boundaries is being cured.
Today, the thought about the "remnant" kept repeating in my head. I did a study and learned that the "remnant" is a small part of the whole. You know, that makes sense even in the natural...dah...i just thought about carpet for a room. When there is a smaller area, i've gone to Lowe's for a great price on a quality texture of carpet left over from the whole roll that is usually srastically discounted; its called a remnant. From a spiritual perspective though, the remnant are the few that have been found to be really "sold out" to God. This may mean their tests & trials seem endless @ times, however their faith in God is real and a sure thing. They know they can count on God, but God can count on them. I saw many parallels in scripture relevant for where I am and the challenges I am facing. From Isaiah, the painful cleansing process was necessary BEFORE he could fulfill the task to which God was calling him. Before we accept God's call to speak for him to those aroundus, we must be cleansed as Isaiah was. Letting God purify us may be painful, but we must be purified so that we can truly represent God who is pure & holy. (Gathered from my study notes from my Bible.)
So, as I journey to where God seems to be ushering me, I am thankful for the few faithful ones that I have come to know. Thanks for reading.
"Most people go through their whole life never living."
"There is NEVER nothing going on."
These lines have been in my head since spending Labor Day with my family chillin', climbing Stone Mountain & bowling. They are from the movie, Peaceful Warrior. I am learning to live and enjoy the qualities of life that I have taken for granted, like resting and taking my time rather than hurry-scurry to do something that's non-emergent. Oh yeah, I forgot to share the revelation I got after trying to jump through the hoops of a new client, who I'd never seen her hair or know anything about, but rather she sounding all urgent & stuff for me to do her hair, but not willing to make any adjustment with her time, rather require me to make them all...I DIDNT DO HER HAIR and for this reason I am glad..."I chose to not let someone else urgent become my emergent." My illness of letting go of my boundaries is being cured.
Today, the thought about the "remnant" kept repeating in my head. I did a study and learned that the "remnant" is a small part of the whole. You know, that makes sense even in the natural...dah...i just thought about carpet for a room. When there is a smaller area, i've gone to Lowe's for a great price on a quality texture of carpet left over from the whole roll that is usually srastically discounted; its called a remnant. From a spiritual perspective though, the remnant are the few that have been found to be really "sold out" to God. This may mean their tests & trials seem endless @ times, however their faith in God is real and a sure thing. They know they can count on God, but God can count on them. I saw many parallels in scripture relevant for where I am and the challenges I am facing. From Isaiah, the painful cleansing process was necessary BEFORE he could fulfill the task to which God was calling him. Before we accept God's call to speak for him to those aroundus, we must be cleansed as Isaiah was. Letting God purify us may be painful, but we must be purified so that we can truly represent God who is pure & holy. (Gathered from my study notes from my Bible.)
So, as I journey to where God seems to be ushering me, I am thankful for the few faithful ones that I have come to know. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
9-6-09: Step 4 & A Line From "Any Given Sunday"
I attended both 8am and 930am services. I know I "heard" at 8am, but something happened @ 930; I got ssssoooo sleepy. Instead of fighting through it in my seat, I just stood on the wall. In standing up, I regained alertness; to the point the same message really pierced my heart, mind and spirit deeper. I resolved that it is time for me to do a fearless, moral inventory, as we were directed. I asked God what did that look like...be careful what you ask for. Of all days, my pastor chose to say my name in the midst of the message. In an instant, I felt this surge of something that I would normally call pressure. It was the heat, with a pulse that felt like/said ..."RUN! HIDE! TAKE COVER!" I had to ask God what had just happened. He showed me it was fear. My Truth: There was no where I could run and hide; this is my protection mechanism. I don't want to deal with his authority b/c it frightens me. I don't want this less flawed image of him in my mind to disappear & run the risk of losing the "safe" environment because to lose that would mean I would have to leave because when that environment is challenged I've told my self that its time to roll-out. And to roll-out would mean starting over and starting over would mean I've wasted all of 10 years for what. (This is sick! I see other things connected to this truth I've created that makes the rabbit hole deeper.) None of this has anything to do with him, the church, or whatever present, but rather in my past, i didn't learn to deal with the truth; they acted like they valued it as long as the message was what they called "good" anything else they didn't want to hear. So, I learned whenever I received truth in a manner that didn't make me feel good meant I had to take flight and receiving truth any other way meant Pain. Writing this is so eye-opening because it is contrary to the Word of God; that same Word I am trying to govern my life by. I resolve. I am sick and I want to get well.
There's a part in the movie, "The Peaceful Warrior" where Dan is having this battle with himself. I never really understood that part, until today...(taken from the message today)
"The second most destructive offender is FEAR. As soon as we began to look at ourselves, FEAR jumps in and says to us: "Now be careful. What you are seeing is not really true. In fact, don't even see what you see anymore [denial]. You don't have a problem, so act like its not even there [ignore]. From this day forward, you make up your OWN WORLD and call anybody who challenges you to see the damage you are doing, a troublemaker hater! [avoid reality]. The guilt & shame we feel about our past causes us to not want to conduct a thorough inventory."
So much more came to me about it being time for me to get in touch with my father, not so much as for a relationship, rather to be honest about how I feel, to apologize to my husband, and to be honest with myself. THIS time next year I will not be the same. I am so thankful God that you have presented me a package that I must unwrap one layer at a time and I think it's called, DELIVERANCE.
Lastly, I saw one seen in the movie, "Any Given Sunday"; Jamie Foxx's character began to complain about his arm...he turned around and saw his audience of one (his coach) was not there...he then confessed to himself that he was scared. (He stopped making excuses.) I saw myself in this scene in a flash. So, I asked God is that what my not going for it (real estate/hair/products/trainings, etc.) is all about? Am I really that scared? Succeeding in a realm, on a level and in a state that I never have? I confess, somewhere inside of me I am afraid. Acceptance matters too much to me and this is one of the things that is making me sick. I don't want to take care of people nor seek their approval nor fear their chatter, abandonment or authority. I don't want to be in control nor over-react to change or whatever else I do to cope. I don't want to accept the "safe place" of poverty and playing small anymore as my home or where I frequent any longer. Pray with me. Thanks for reading.
There's a part in the movie, "The Peaceful Warrior" where Dan is having this battle with himself. I never really understood that part, until today...(taken from the message today)
"The second most destructive offender is FEAR. As soon as we began to look at ourselves, FEAR jumps in and says to us: "Now be careful. What you are seeing is not really true. In fact, don't even see what you see anymore [denial]. You don't have a problem, so act like its not even there [ignore]. From this day forward, you make up your OWN WORLD and call anybody who challenges you to see the damage you are doing, a troublemaker hater! [avoid reality]. The guilt & shame we feel about our past causes us to not want to conduct a thorough inventory."
So much more came to me about it being time for me to get in touch with my father, not so much as for a relationship, rather to be honest about how I feel, to apologize to my husband, and to be honest with myself. THIS time next year I will not be the same. I am so thankful God that you have presented me a package that I must unwrap one layer at a time and I think it's called, DELIVERANCE.
Lastly, I saw one seen in the movie, "Any Given Sunday"; Jamie Foxx's character began to complain about his arm...he turned around and saw his audience of one (his coach) was not there...he then confessed to himself that he was scared. (He stopped making excuses.) I saw myself in this scene in a flash. So, I asked God is that what my not going for it (real estate/hair/products/trainings, etc.) is all about? Am I really that scared? Succeeding in a realm, on a level and in a state that I never have? I confess, somewhere inside of me I am afraid. Acceptance matters too much to me and this is one of the things that is making me sick. I don't want to take care of people nor seek their approval nor fear their chatter, abandonment or authority. I don't want to be in control nor over-react to change or whatever else I do to cope. I don't want to accept the "safe place" of poverty and playing small anymore as my home or where I frequent any longer. Pray with me. Thanks for reading.
9-6-09 Dakota Skye & What You Think About...
I just finished retwisting my locs. While doing that I watched a movie on NetFlix.com called, "Dakota Skye". In the movie, Dakota had special powers (like superheros)...no one could ever lie to her, well they could but she would know it because that was her special powers. The one thing about Dakota, she didn't have to broadcast it to others nor let even her closest friends in on her clairvoyance. She just simply knew what she knew. There was one part in the movie where she had her past and her future side-by-side and she later chose to leave them both alone and live in the present (free). I thank God for the little reminders. Many times, I want to not just know what I know, but I want you (well not "you" per se, but others) so know too as though I am inferior if you/they don't know that I know. To this mindset, I say, "Good Bye!" and choose to rejoice in knowing.
It's also amazing to me how the "knowing" thoughts come to mind and before the day's end you can fulfill them. I just wish or pray for this kind of clarity in others, esp those I would rather run and deal.
I had an unusual notion during a conversation while doing a Client's hair. I made the comment, that I would like Oprah to be one of my mentors even if it had to be only via email. Then the thought that followed, said, "Live like it is so. How would you respond to life if you knew you had to check in with her?" I had these images in my mind of going for it and not slacking. Then what would it take to BE this. My response, now is to decide to do so and not broadcast it, just BE it. I also questioned within my self, why the change? It occurred to me...her presence and the amount of work she accomplishes everyday and her decision to follow-through with excellence would compel me to do the same. The bar was raised just considering the possibility of being in company of greatness/excellence. Its easy to say...now I must follow-through. Thanks Linda for the invitation to prospect with you on Friday. This part of the "doing". "Faith without works is dead. Show my your faith without works and I will show you my faith by what I do." - ALRIGHT Lord! Thanks for reading.
It's also amazing to me how the "knowing" thoughts come to mind and before the day's end you can fulfill them. I just wish or pray for this kind of clarity in others, esp those I would rather run and deal.
I had an unusual notion during a conversation while doing a Client's hair. I made the comment, that I would like Oprah to be one of my mentors even if it had to be only via email. Then the thought that followed, said, "Live like it is so. How would you respond to life if you knew you had to check in with her?" I had these images in my mind of going for it and not slacking. Then what would it take to BE this. My response, now is to decide to do so and not broadcast it, just BE it. I also questioned within my self, why the change? It occurred to me...her presence and the amount of work she accomplishes everyday and her decision to follow-through with excellence would compel me to do the same. The bar was raised just considering the possibility of being in company of greatness/excellence. Its easy to say...now I must follow-through. Thanks Linda for the invitation to prospect with you on Friday. This part of the "doing". "Faith without works is dead. Show my your faith without works and I will show you my faith by what I do." - ALRIGHT Lord! Thanks for reading.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
9-5-09 - Almost but I Refuse to Cheat Me
I refused to let the day end without me keeping my promise to me. What I realize about myself...once the thrill is gone(i know how to blog now), I can easily lose interest. I questioned why I committed to doing this blog anyway, then I remembered it is for me, about me and to help me to instill greater discipline in my life. Even more so, it is my journal of My Journey Back or to WHO I "BE". So here I write... Today I did 2 people's hair, no 3 including my daughter. I thought I was going to Rome today---no that's Rome, GA for a XCountry Meet. I didn't have to but was so nice is having my daughter call me so excited to tell me she improved her time by 3 mins in the race! I guess in the spirit earlier today I knew this would happen and that she would be placed on the my experienced team (she says that didn't happen, but I know what I heard, maybe she just doesnt know yet). I learned 5 mins before my son was to be at basketball practice that he had one. This was very frustrating, then after going to 2 different locations and not finding the team, I had a choice...to go home and tell my next client to come on or to practice with him even though I had on flip-flops. The reality is...I can do anything I want to do for my good reasons for me, so today I made it for HIM. I chose to make it a great time for him. To my surprise, as I practiced with him without phone or any kind of interruptions he got to have his Mommy's undivided attention. The things God was giving me for him to do (even shooting with his eyes closed & doing push-up off the ball) was so encouraging to me and fun for him. More than that, to see that he progressed from the time we started to the time we ended (40 -45 mins later) was awesome! I also learned today that I allow people's choices make me upset when I feel it down plays what I have already done. I almost let a situation like this make me call this day a flop. It wasn't a flop and this was just moment. I refuse to discredit the good I received for what I call the foolishness of another. I enjoyed several beautiful glimpses of my Heavenly Father and for that I am thankful. Thanks for reading.
Friday, September 4, 2009
9-4-09 Try It on My Own
It's amazing the things you see when you are looking!!! I was telling a Client/Friend about Whitney's new song and pulled it up on YouTube.com. I came across a song she had done a long time ago called, "Try It on My Own". It spoke to me where I am on my Journey Back! Check it out... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jpypk-PHh8
Thanks for reading.
Thanks for reading.
9-4-09 The Rose
Today, is my 2nd day going into my real estate office since I have made the commitment to ME. As I was leaving the house, I took notice of a rose. Yes, its a rose growing up out of the ground, thorns and all. The thing is...we didn't plant any roses. This one (1) rose is bright pink. It must had to press its way out of the earth. It looks tattered and not so crisp as the ones look when they just grow onto a bush. In many ways, I feel like that rose; alone, tattered, but fighting to get to the top of my game. I beat my body and make it my slave...that I may win the prize. Pray 4 me. Thanks 4 listening.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
9-3-09 AM Liz Murrary
Before this morning, I knew nothing about Liz Murray, but after reading a short article in my new Success Magazine that came in the mail, I am so thankful for knowing her this way. On my journey back - or to where I am called, I believe the line from Akeelah and the Bee reminds me that I have 50,000 coaches and Liz Murray was one of them today. In my "fall from grace", I found myself depressed, lethargic and very unhappy with the life I had accepted as my own. Liz points permeated my thinking today. Here's what I learned:
- I am NOT my mistakes. My mistakes are not my identity.
- I can lose a lot of THINGS and still have myself.
- I accept that the negative (antagonistic) voice is my "wounded self" talking to me.
I am not this voice and it lets me know I have to nuture the positive, loving side of me. These concepts are healing to me. Like warming my soul with a smooth warm elixir.
I had allowed my mistakes to become my identity creating shame in me everytime I said anything about losing the brokerage and my attachments had become who I was so in losing them (esp the money) I felt unworthy for anything else. This is why the pain of my downfall was so hard and even paralyzing. My body was moving, but something (everything) inside of me was standing still, immobilized and even crouching over wrapped in despair.
I said a prayer for Liz Murray today and thanked God for the gift He put in her that was shared. Thanks for reading.
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