Day 85 (Sun)

This day began interesting from the time my eyes opened to the end that I chose to be numb and disconcerted. I awakened out a dream that reminded me of someone in my very first cell group where I was the leader and an ordeal that occurred. I didn't realize how hurt I was over how the L instructed me to carry out (now what I call "faulty" wisdom) matters. The root of the matter from Day 86 came forth as well. I journalled about both of these and presented them to God, then though I perceived His instructions were to talk with my Leader, I struggled because my mind was saying something else. I chose to obey Holy Spirit rather than lean to my own understanding and experienced guidance that required me to really talk about a past matter with the person involved. Her prayer for me made be feel empowered to carry out the instructions.

Then my pastor of all days had be a part of the message to illustrate how we hear, respond and react from triggers rather than the truth of what is being said as a result of our childhood scars. While I didn't feel this was applicable with me and my son, I still asked God to reveal anything that could still be lingering. Okay, so we leave church and needed to stop by Walmart. I felt the need to park in the farthest side of the parking lot from the door and have my children walk with me not cut across the lot. Do you know during this time, my son shared with me the thing that I do that bothers him and what makes him not want to help me. I was glad and made defensive take the back seat. This gave me a chance to apologize and request that he not let things like this linger. I want to know. While I know I wasnt raised in a functional home, I believe that I can raise mine in one. So, even if I am in the wrong I too must be corrected also.

We exercised as a family around Stone Mountain. I've also agreed to run a half marathon in February! I've always wanted to do it, but now I will get to and have the training to condition my body for the 13 mile stretch.